Tuesday, June 26, 2012

goals as motivation

Sometimes you make goals and you don't' meet them.
Like new year's resolutions. They're made for pieces of paper right? To show that we've got plans for the future... or something.

Okay, so I didn't make my goal.
And the more I keep working on the WIP and finding new things I need to add, new scenes, new side plots, the more I think I will never finish.

That's just me feeling tired though.

I'm getting closer and closer to having a full, polished manuscript. Soon it will be ready for those wonderful literary agents to read and love.

For now, I'm still working.

Stay tuned for some words about WIFYR. It's over and I have things to say.


write on!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I Am Afraid Of Cancer

I've been thinking about my dad lately. 
How he isn't sitting there in his favorite spot at the kitchen counter smoking a cigarette. 
How I can't call him and ask about the funny noise my lover girl's car was making. 
How I can't tell him again that I love him. 
How I'm still angry he never quit. 
And how he will never read one of my picture books despite how he loved to make up the stories for me. 

Have a poem. It's raw. But so is my emotion. Get over it. 

I Am Not Afraid of Death
I am afraid of Cancer.
The growths.
The ones that can't be seen 
or even felt
until it's too late. 
The coughing. 
Hacking up yellow mucus. 
Breaths by tubes from a tank.
Growing weak.
Losing hair. 
Spending the weekend
in the hospital
instead of the mountains.

I am afraid of cancer. 
The growths. 
The ones that can't be seen
or even felt
until the left side is bigger. 
The pink ribbons.
The extra padding. 
The lopsidedness. 
The tingling sensation of a ghost breast.
Spending the morning stuffing and adjusting
instead of walking the dog or reading the paper. 

I am afraid of cancer.
How it comes in and takes over.
Takes what I'm not ready to give.

I am afraid of cancer. 
The pain. 
The slow pain
that sucks life
little
by 
little. 

I am not afraid of death. 
I am afraid of cancer. 



Write on!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Another Dead Darling


Killing those darlings is hard. HARD. But I"m doing it. SLowly. Surely. 
I really really loved this scene. And I"m considering keeping it...but if I do it needs some work. Meaning, it needs to not be what it is now. But, give me a comment or two of validation. Isn't that one line so great? :) No one steal that line. I may need it later. 


No More Detention
I slam my locker as hard as I can.
It bounces back open and my sociology book crashes to the floor.
“Damn it,” I say.
I pick up the book and shove it back in my locker.
I shut it hard, but I don’t try to slam it again.
I feel tears forming on the corners of my eyes.
I will not cry.
I will not cry.
“Sophie, you okay?”
I turn around.
It’s Rex.
Rex Levi.
Shaggy brown hair,
puppy dog brown eyes Rex Levi.
“It’s not true,” I say.
“Don’t worry about it. Those guys are idiots. They’ll say anything.”
We stand there in the hall with three feet of silence between us.


Write on!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Stress

Sometimes life is stressful.


Write on!